Just like you, I spent countless hours searching for “the one” (no, not my future husband, but my wedding dress). I poured over every style imaginable; ball gown, trumpet, A line, sheath, mermaid, etc. I read about my body type, and the best fit for mine. Then I debated between tulle, organza, lace, satin, silk, unicorn fur, etc. And I finally found it; the dress that made me feel like a princess straight out of a Disney movie. I loved my dress. I chose a ball gown (because I’m a princess, right?!). It was beautiful in every way; and of course, ridiculously expensive. But I knew right away that this dress would be a hot mess by the end of my wedding day. And I didn’t care; that’s the way I wanted it.
I am going to give you some great advice that someone gave me; let that dress get dirty! Really, just do it. On the day of my wedding, it was pouring rain. Because, why not. It’s only one of the most important days of my life! I was pretty devastated. As a photographer, those outdoor images with my husband were the most important thing on my list. Every one kept telling me that the rain was good luck. Um, thanks? But I feel pretty unlucky right now. I decided as I was getting my makeup done that I would just roll with it. If it was pouring when our formals came around, we would just grab some umbrellas and venture out into the wilderness.
And that’s exactly what happened. After the ceremony, the rain had let up, but it was still there. It was that light, fairy mist type rain that destroys one’s hair and makeup in about 1.2 seconds. You know what I’m talking about. Yeah, you do. But, we sucked it up and went to our favorite local spot. There was an amazing bridge that I really wanted to use for our formals. It was early spring, so when we got there, the water from the stream under the bridge was so high due to the snow melt and rain, it was running up over the entrance to the bridge in a raging current. But, we trudged on. I hiked up that ballgown in my arms and walked through that raging, ice cold water. I was getting to the bridge, come hell or high water; literally. My husband had to take off his shoes and socks and hike up his pants as well. But we made it! And we are oh so glad that we did. We got some truly amazing images on that bridge, one of which is a 24×36 canvas that hangs in our home.
My dress got a muddy and wet on the bottom, but it could have been worse. I knew that the cleaners would get it out. It didn’t matter; I knew that I had gotten amazing images with my husband. Images that documented our first hours together as husband and wife. Images that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Images that our children and their children will look through in years to come. And that is so much more important that coming out of your wedding with a spotless dress. My dress now sits boxed up, in storage. I haven’t touched or thought about it since I brought it home from the cleaners. But I see my wedding photos every day. I see the beauty of them as they grace the walls of our home. I have the album of my husband and I dancing the night away, the train of my ballgown dragging across the dirty reception venue floor, and the spilled food and and red punch (yes, my dress had red punch on it). But the stains are not what I remember. I remember how much fun my wedding day was. I remember every great moment that I had with my husband and my family and friends. I remember my amazing photos, and how much we laughed trying to get to that bridge. A few days after the wedding, I was bagging up my dress to take it to the cleaners. I looked at the bits of leaves stuck to the train, the mud all over the bottom, the red punch stain, and the pen marks (don’t ask). And I smiled. All of that dirt and filth were memories of one of the most important days of my life. In that moment, I could’t have been more happy that I chose to let go of the dress.
Sometime I even wish that I would have gotten it more dirty. I wish I would have just dealt with the wet and the cold a little longer, because I know if I had, I would have gotten even more amazing images. The moral of this story is two fold; first, trust your photographer. They know they best places to put you so you will have amazing images to treasure forever. If you have to stand in the dirt, it will be okay. If you have to let your dress drag on the ground, it will be okay. And second, the dress is not what matters. The details are not what matters. The flowers, and clothing, and venues are not what matters. What matters is that you, and your husband, and your family make amazing memories that you will have forever. What matters is that you end your wedding day with no regrets.
