We all do it. We scroll through the endless newsfeeds and pictures. We longing look through the profiles of the seemingly perfect people that grace our social media accounts. We see the perfect marriages, the pristine homes, the well behaved children. We see business owners that are doing amazingly well while we struggle to make ends meet. We see successful people upon even more successful people. We see brand new cars and boats, vacations to amazing places, and beautiful people; and we begin to doubt. We doubt our lives, our jobs, our families, and worst of all, our self worth. It’s so easy to fall victim to the social media veil. Comparison can be killer. It can crush your spirit, and drain your soul.
It is so easy to hide behind a social media platform. It’s easy to take 100 selfies just to post the one you’re happy with. It’s easy to not share the troubles and pain in your life. It’s easy to put a rose colored filter on everything. We can hide the wrinkles and blemishes, the bad hair days, the days where nothing fits or we have nothing to wear, the days where we just don’t have time to shower, and the days where the tears won’t stop. We hide our own versions of ugly, messy, and broken.
But let me assure you of this; no matter how perfectly curated the profiles and pages may seem, we are all hiding the exact same things; ourselves. We have gotten to a place where it has become unacceptable to show who we really are. We fear that by showing our humanity, we will be outcast; that we won’t be professional, or classy, or loved. We feel that by sharing our fears, our pain, and our struggles, that somehow we become less acceptable to the world.
I am guilty of this. I have sat and scrolled though countless pages of other photographers and creatives, and ended up feeling terrible about myself and my skills. I have creeped profiles of friends and acquaintances and felt almost embarrassed about my life. Why am I not as popular as photographer XYZ? Why isn’t my life as perfect as this friend, or that friend of a friend? Why am I not that happy, or perfect? Sometimes it feels like a battle. A battle of who is earning more money, creating better art, has a better job, has a better partner and kids, and the list goes on.
This isn’t a pity party (let’s face it, who has time for that!). We have to be able to tell ourselves that we are enough. Our lives are enough. That we do the absolute best we can with what we have been given. We have to get over our fears, our mistakes, and maybe even our lost dreams. We need to stop playing the comparison game, because that’s one game that no one will ever win. And the only way to do that is to stop hiding. Because really, there is nothing to hide. We are all human; we all deal with the same things, just on different levels. We all have bad hair days, bad skin days…..bad everything days! Now, by no means am I telling you to air your dirty laundry on social media, because that is super personal. But you are allowed to post that picture of yourself without makeup. You’re allowed to write about something other than unicorns and butterflies. You’re allowed to feel; joy, pain, anger, indifference. You’re allowed to wear those $5 Walmart sweatpants, and buy the off-brand food at the grocery store. You’re allowed to be sweaty after a workout (and maybe even a little smelly). You’re allowed to eat that whole pizza, and not feel one bit bad about it. You are allowed to be you. Unedited, un-retouched, unafraid.
Look around you. Right now. Take a minute to really look at all of the blessings in your life. As I’m writing this, I’m sitting at my table (in yoga pants, with a hot mess of hair and no makeup), with my two dogs sleeping by my side, watching Modern Family (love this show!). My house is warm, I have food in the kitchen, and the family that I adore around me. I am truly blessed. I am loved. I am enough. This is me; this is my life. It is real, it is raw, it is complicated, and it is beautiful. And I am proud to share it.
Here I am, in all my no makeup, still-in-pajamas, haven’t showered yet, hot mess hair glory. Am I’m okay with it.
